7 Reasons Why You Probably Lost Your Old Friends

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” ― Muhammad Ali


Friends are awesome to have. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, prevent loneliness and isolation, and even strengthen your health. And if you have a really really good friend like me (Hey Autumn!) then you know that good friendships are hard to come by. I mean seriously, how many people can you call your ace boon coon,  your ride or die, or your sister from another mister? Probably not that many. You might have even  lost a few friends along the way. And thats ok! Friends come and go, that's a reality. I mean, take me for example:  I've had a handful of friend in my past that I would've sworn would to-this- day be my BEST FRIEND. I'm talking friends that I invested a lot of time and energy into. But shit happens and things don't always seem to go the way we plan. And again, thats ok.  Not every person is going to stand the test of time. And here's why:

  1. People change. Raise your hand if you're still the same person you were 5-6 years ago. If you raised your hand then please... log off your computer and reevaluate your life... you're fucking up and I can't help you. No, but seriously, as humans it is our nature to evolve. We learn new things and we try to figure out who we are. As we become more aware of who we are we lose friends that don't fit in with the person we've become. Maybe your friendship evolved around going out and getting drunk all the time and that’s not really what you want to do anymore. Or maybe you've gotten married and started a family and now you guys/gals  just have nothing in common anymore. Which brings me to #2.
  2. Relationships. I'm sorry to break it to you but some people simply can not manage friendships in an all consuming love affair. Resentment and lack of time spent together can run weak friendships in the ground if there is not balance.
  3. They  Were Toxic. No one wants to be friends with someone who is full of drama and continuously bring negativity into our lives. If you lost a friend because of this GOOD FOR YOU. Run far far away.
  4. You let too much time pass after a fight. This is something even I had to learn. If you ever get into an argument with a friend give them time to cool down, but never let your pride allow too much time to pass before making amends. Allowing too much time to pass can make things super awkward and ruin your relationship to the point of no return.
  5. You didn't nurture your friendship.  You know, the usual BS. You only called when you needed something. You weren't there when they needed you, and you only came around when it was convenient for you. Friendships are just like any other relationship and requires TLC. In order to build a strong friendship you have to nurture it and spend time making it stronger. Always support your friends even when you can't be there for them physically.
  6. You/She/He/It Was Fake. Yeap, I said it,  they were as fake as a $4 bill. Or maybe it was you who was fake.  Whichever one it was, no one wants to be friends with someone who is two-faced. Loyalty isn't just important when dealing with others, its important when dealing with yourself. Be loyal to your character, morals, and values. Never fake the funk to be friends with anyone.
  7. They're no longer adding value or excitement to your life. Every person you call "friend" should be adding substance to your life. Are they making you better? Are they helping you where you are weak? How are they contributing to your well-being? Your career goals?  Sometimes we lose friends because they no longer have a purpose in our lives.


Peace, Love, & Blessings!

-Oh, Brenda!


*Cover photo from pixieandcorky.tumblr.com*