Life as a single parent is in not a walk in the park. Outside of the emotional and financial strains, simple things like reading a book, taking a shower, and going out on dates are luxuries. Time is always a factor and having time for yourself let alone someone else is very difficult.
I’m often asked, “How do you have time to date?” and the honest answer is I don’t. I mean, I want to, but it’s hard trying to coordinate dates and be available for someone that is oblivious to the life of a single parent. I invest everything into my child, and at the end of the day I ‘m exhausted. And while I’d love nothing more than to be with someone who understands my struggles, there aren’t many men out there who do.
So, for the childless men who’ve outgrown the notion of being with someone without a child, here are a few things to consider:
- We are not looking for you to replace the other parent. However, we are looking for you to be a good role model and have a genuine bond with our child(ren.)
- For dates, think outside of the box. Most single parents can’t be as spontaneous as they’d like to be, so last minute dinners and get-a-ways are probably not the best route. Be creative. Try meeting during lunch when the kids are at school or while they are away for the weekend. Plan in advance. Give him/her enough time to make arrangements for child-care or help with the arrangements and/or cost of child-care.
- Understand that his/her child is always a #1 priority. Be mindful of their needs and try your best to help out in any way that you can. Help with even the smallest things will mean so much to your partner.
- Listen. Single parenting is a lonely place. As single parents, we listen and listen, but who is there to listen to us? Sharing thoughts and feelings with a partner is exciting and having someone there who is interested in our day makes a big difference.
- The ex is there to stay. The mother/father of the child will never fully be out of the picture. Be cool with that. They may or may not get along, but either way be supportive.
- Be honest with yourself. If dating a single parent is not for you do not waste your time or theirs.
So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, understand this: We are adults; we are people; and we have personalities outside of being a parent. We don’t want to be in mommy/daddy mode all the time and at the end of the day, we just want to let our hair down and enjoy life with someone who understands us. Most of us are fun, adventurous, and have great personalities. We are well rounded and know how to roll with the punches. Single parents get shit done and don’t need “saving.” We bring home the bacon, we fry it in the pan, we clean the pan…hell, we bought the pan. We just need you to bring the love.
Single parents are the best lovers. We know what we want and we don’t waste our time in dead-end relationships. We aren’t clingy or annoying (we ain’t got time for that.) We play for keeps and are particular about who we let into our lives. We’ve experienced unconditional love, which in turn, has taught us to love hard, patiently and selflessly.
Although dating a single parent is much different from traditional dating, a successful relationship with us only requires one thing: AN OPEN MIND. There are no set rules and each parent is different, but one thing that will forever be the same is that our kids are our everything. We want to spend time with you and get to know you, just meet us halfway.
Love, Peace, & Blessings,